Saturday, January 21, 2012

"There Can Only Be One."

Yes, that was an Highlander Reference! (Sew me Christopher Lambert)
You know that person who feels slower than their peers, or emotionally and physically weaker? They feel that they always come in last place. These are our children and friends our sisters and brothers. Well the next time they feel that way play this scene from the movie Look Who's Talking. In it, 1000s of sperms are rushing to this egg and the winner gets born, while the others die off. You tell that person that out of 1000s of sperms, you were the fastest, the strongest, and the brightest, and you weren't even born yet. You wanted it more then the sperm next to you and that is why you won. Big deal you didn't get the job, or the guy, or the medal. So the next time that person is down, you jog their memory by saying one simple word, with one simple syllable; Sperm!
And that's how...Cynarra C's it!!!
!

Friday, January 6, 2012

A tale of Unfortunate events!

This is what I send Bank of America 5 times a day when I am Board...which is all the time!
Dear B Of A representative,
It has come to my attention that your bankers and tellers are annoying as hell. Everytime I go in there, a teller ask me five times if I want an account and then they call a banker to ask me 5 more times. On December 22 around 2:30pm at the Bellflower, ca branch, I told the teller to not waste her or my time by asking me because I get annoyed after two times. She said, 'unfortunately it is my job to make sure everyone has what they need." I then said, "five times, you can't believe me the first time?" she said, Unfortunatly it is my job. I then said, "Well lets just pretend you asked me 5 times." and she asked me again and I ignored her. She called for a banker and I told her that it wouldn't be necessary  I'll tell her no too. This teller lied to me and said she needed approval for a 627$ check. The banker was busy and the teller tried to stall. When she gave me my cash the banker came by to ask me if I wanted an account and I ignored her.
"Unfortunately" is a lame excuse So... Here I am emailing you, and 'Unfortunatly' I will continue to email you five times a day. ANd 'Unfortuantly I'll probably call you twice a day to complain because I know how expensive each call is. 'Unfortunatly' for you, I have unlimited minutes and I can set a time for my emails all day everyday. You are probably wondering if this women has a life. I assure you that I do not, so...I'll be emailing and or calling in a few hours and I plan on asking 5 equally annoying questions until your tellers and bankers stop raping my time! Yes, I said rape. Ive never been raped and ive never raped anyone, but after years of watching Lifetime network I honestly believe rapist understand the word no more than your fellow employees.
I'll talk to you in a few!!


Sincerely,
Cynarra S. J

Monday, January 2, 2012

PDA is not OKAY!!

PDA is not okay
I honestly can't see the excitement and thrill people get out of sticking their Tounge down other people's throat with an audience. Please tell me what's so great about it! To me it's like marking your territory or just showing off what you have. You show off a new bracelet or handbag or hoop skills...not your tonsle hockey skills!
There should be two exceptions to this rule: New years eve kiss, and if you are old. I'm talkin 'your grandchildren are in college,' old. Not to be confused with Julia Moore or Angela Bassett old. There is just something hopeful about not being able to keep your hands off your spouse even though you can hear them snoring two houses down, or pushing their wheelchair.
So you 16 year olds stop doing what you think 26 year olds are doing, and you 26 year olds...Grow the heck up. And 56 year olds...don't be afraid grab a cheek or two...you know which cheek I'm talkin about!
And that is how...Cynarra, C's it!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Must be nice Kids!!!!

You know that feeling when you really, I mean really have to pee, and the first bathroom is disgusting so you go look for another on and all these people are in the way. Then you find a new one but it’s out of order and you wish you had gone to the other one. Now you are shaky and sweaty and doing an awkward dance. Then you find one just right and that sense of relief is the best feeling in the entire world.
That’s what I go through with Christmas shopping!!!!!
When you are a kid you can get away with macaroni jewelry (and peeing anywhere you want)
Must be nice
And That’s How Cynarra…C’s It!!!!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

In Your Dreams!

You know those amazing dreams where you don’t want to wake up or you can’t wait to go to sleep with hopes that you can go back to that same dream? Well I do and I hate them! I have things to do and people to see in the real world. So Ill take my  Freddy Kruger, Chainsaw Killer, Zombie Apocalyptic nightmares any day (Or night) of the week.
And That’s How…Cynarra C’s it!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Why I Love Compton

Besides the fact that half my family still lives there
1) The Honey Kettle on Alondra and White
2) The guy who sells bootleg DVDs at Food 4 Less
3) Dodging pot holes on Central (keeps you on your toes)
4) Some of the best Rappers come from there...and are still rapping
5) Most importantly, No matter what I do in life, its where I come from ;)



And that's how...Cynarra C's it!

Don't read this Guys









I warned you!






Guys are dumb...even the Smart ones! I was watching an old episode of Family Matters and Urkel's character is no exception. He is in love with Laura who will never ever ever want him...unless he invents a machine that will change his DNA making him walk like everyone else, sound like everyone else and act like everyone else.






Myra Munkhouse liked him for who he was and she was just a pretty as Laura and way smarter. Her only flaw was loving him too much. (The Urkel pillow was a bit much)






So if you want to question my theory on guys being dumb, just remember the first "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. 100 years for guys to realize which head is more important.












And That's How...Cynarra C's It!