A tale of Unfortunate events!

This is what I send Bank of America 5 times a day when I am Board...which is all the time!

Dear B Of A representative,
It has come to my attention that your bankers and tellers are annoying as hell. Everytime I go in there, a teller ask me five times if I want an account and then they call a banker to ask me 5 more times. On December 22 around 2:30pm at the Bellflower, ca branch, I told the teller to not waste her or my time by asking me because I get annoyed after two times. She said, 'unfortunately it is my job to make sure everyone has what they need." I then said, "five times, you can't believe me the first time?" she said, Unfortunatly it is my job. I then said, "Well lets just pretend you asked me 5 times." and she asked me again and I ignored her. She called for a banker and I told her that it wouldn't be necessary  I'll tell her no too. This teller lied to me and said she needed approval for a 627$ check. The banker was busy and the teller tried to stall. When she gave me my cash the banker came by to ask me if I wanted an account and I ignored her.
"Unfortunately" is a lame excuse So... Here I am emailing you, and 'Unfortunatly' I will continue to email you five times a day. ANd 'Unfortuantly I'll probably call you twice a day to complain because I know how expensive each call is. 'Unfortunatly' for you, I have unlimited minutes and I can set a time for my emails all day everyday. You are probably wondering if this women has a life. I assure you that I do not, so...I'll be emailing and or calling in a few hours and I plan on asking 5 equally annoying questions until your tellers and bankers stop raping my time! Yes, I said rape. Ive never been raped and ive never raped anyone, but after years of watching Lifetime network I honestly believe rapist understand the word no more than your fellow employees.
I'll talk to you in a few!!


Sincerely,
Cynarra S. J